Thanksgiving

As I started my morning today I couldn't help but think about and remember what was going on one year ago.  One year ago today, my family was having dinner with my mom's side of the family at our stake house, while my dad sat at home fighting through his first round of chemotherapy.  He had had it the day before and on Thanksgiving he was miserable. So we went to the church without him,  It was a really hard and emotional Thanksgiving for all of us; we didn't know what was ahead of us.  All we knew was that dad wasn't there, he was home and he was sick.  It was really scary to think about what we would do if he really wasn't there.  I remember sitting and just looking around at all of the family that was there and wondering why this trial had come at this time in our lives. 

I remember that just a week before my parents had sat us all down and explained that there was a really good chance that the cancer would take his life.  I remember my dad crying and saying that he knew it would probably happen, but that he was hoping and praying for a miracle and for God's will.  When my parents had talked with the doctors up at the Hunstman Cancer Institute they asked some of the hard questions that we really didn't want to know, but that we needed to be prepared for.  They basically told him that 2-5 years would be really good for someone with his cancer.  It was heart breaking.  I couldn't even imagine my life without my dad; he was in every plan I had for my future. 

He was going to be at my wedding, he was going to be there when my children were born, he was going to be there to take them on their first snowmobile and four-wheeler rides, he was going to be there to take them to the cabin and help them fall in love with it too, he was going to be there in the middle of the night when I needed to call him and cry because I didn't know what to do, he was going to be there when I would struggle and waiver in my faith, he was going to be there for everything!

Today, I am so grateful for all of the things that he was there for.  He was there for me when I was born, he was there for me when I rode a bike for the first time, he was there for me when I made the decision to be baptized, he was there for me when I had to go up big hills on the snowmobile and then back down again, he was there for me when I was going through Spanish Immersion and I didn't want to learn Spanish, he was there for me when I made the decision to go to BYU (even when I had sworn I would never go there), he was there for me when I decided that I wanted to live in Provo and experience new things (even though both of my parents would have preferred for me to live at home), he was there for me when I moved to Centerville to start up at Weber State, he was there for me when I go my first rejection letter from the Nursing Program, he was there for me when I came home crying on Mothers Day because I didn't know if I could live with my grandparents, he was there for me when I didn't know if I wanted to continue up at Weber because I wanted to be home with him during his treatments, he was there for me when I called home and told him that I had met a boy on the bus,  he was there for me when I called home and told him that that boy and I were considering marriage, he was there for me during all of the planning and craziness that came with planning a wedding, he was there for me when I went through the temple for my very first time, he was there for me when I went through the temple and married the man of my dreams for eternity, he was there for me for everything, and I believe that he will continue to be there for me.

Although he isn't there in person, I know that he is there in spirit.  Things are going to be really hard and there are going to be many more times in my life when I am sad that he isn't here in person but I know that he loves me and is still watching out for me.  And this is what I am most thankful for this year.  I am so thankful for the Plan of Salvation and the blessing of having my family as an eternal family.  I plan on living my life in a way that I can spend the rest of eternity living with my eternal family.